Wicked Dix (Hard Love Romance #2)

By: Monica James


Now ...

“How could you?” gasps the girl, whose heart I’ve just shattered into smithereens.

“I can explain.” But I can’t. There is no explanation worthy enough to excuse why I’m here.

“Well?” The single, slow-falling tear which traces a path down her porcelain cheek highlights what a true bastard I really am.

“I-I…” Fuck! What am I even trying to say? Where do I start? When was the exact moment this all turned to shit?

“Just like I thought.” She spins on her heel and scampers toward the door.

“Madison, wait! Please hear me out.”

“Why, Dixon? To hear more of your lies!”

“Maddy, please,” I plead, reaching out and latching onto her arm like the desperate man that I am.

“No!” she shrieks, recoiling, my touch appearing to repulse her.

“Don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”

My feeble voice betrays my fear. But I don’t care. The only good, decent thing in my life is about to walk out that door, and I wouldn’t blame her if she never came back. I’ll grovel, beg at her feet if I need to, but a small part of me knows it was bound to come to this.

“Don’t do what?” she cries, her fingers unsteady as she brushes back her long hair.

I deserve this.

I’m a man-whore.

And I’m a coward.

I don’t deserve this beautiful angelo’s love. I never did. But I wanted it so badly I thought consequences be damned. But now, now I’ve gone and fucked it all up.

“I’m sorry. It’s not what you think.” But it is.

I was meeting up in this fleabag motel to conspire with her sister—a sister who truly represents sin.

“I hope it’s not what I think, because if it is, then I don’t know who you are.”

Words have never hurt more than those just spoken.

“I’m the same man I was this morning. I’m the same man who loves you more than life itself. That hasn’t changed. That’ll never change,” I press, stepping forward, needing to touch her. But she steps away, nothing but disgust in her eyes.

“Just tell me one thing…what are you doing here?”

I could lie. I mean, that’s all I’ve been doing. But when you can no longer distinguish between the lies you’ve told and the truth, it’s time to come clean.

My silence is cementing my guilt.

“Tell me this isn’t what I think it is, and I’ll forget I ever saw you here.”

Everything in this moment is heightened—the clock on the discolored wall sounds in time with my lashing heart, my heavy breathing is in sync with the wild wind thrashing about outside, but most of all the torrent of tears streaming down Madison’s cheeks are in concert with my drowning soul.

“Dixon?” Her lower lip trembles as she waits for me to remedy this situation.

Every inch of my body is telling me to lie, but I can’t. I do the only decent thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.

I say nothing at all.

“I thought so,” she whispers brokenly after a minute of silence.

Her beautiful green eyes reveal nothing but betrayal as she yanks open the door. “Goodbye, Dr. Mathews. Thank you for being the biggest regret of my life,” she sobs, her voice stuck in her throat.

I want to say so many things, but I don’t. I simply stand numbly and watch the best thing in my life walk out on me. And for once, I do the right thing.

I let her go.






“And then he said…sorry, I need a minute,” snuffles Goldilocks as she unfurls an unsteady hand.

“Take all the time you need, Ms. Kibard.” I’ll just continue on with my morbid doodle of a teddy bear getting his stuffing blown out.

When she finally regains her composure, she continues. “And then he said…if I bought one more teddy bear, he was going to leave me.” She clutches onto her eyeless, scraggly, diseased-looking teddy bear like it’s Lord Jesus himself. “Can you believe that?”

You bet your crazy ass I can. But I calmly nod, appearing stone-faced. This is my job, after all.

“I’m not here to pass judgment, Ms. Kibard. Let’s talk about why you have a…fascination with teddy bears.”

Yes, this is as ridiculous as it sounds, but her crazy makes me forget the madness of my own.

It’s been ten days. Ten whole days during which I’ve lied to the most innocent, most honorable person I’ve ever met. It’s been ten days that I’ve hated myself more than I thought I possibly could.

I’m not a good person, I know that. Before meeting Madison Roberts, I was questioning my humanity, questioning if I actually ever had any morals, ethics, or a soul. But for a second, a split second, she made me feel as if maybe there was hope for me. As if maybe I could be a good man.