Never Too Far (Fallen Too Far)By: Abbi Glines
I held Blaire’s hand in mine and looked over her shoulder as she flipped through a parenting magazine. All the pictures of diapers and other baby items were scary as shit. I wouldn’t admit that to her but the reality of a baby was starting to terrify me. The big boobs, the middle of the night sex and the sweet swell of Blaire’s hips were all major pluses and it was easy to forget exactly why all this was happening.
“Blaire Wynn.” The nurse called out her name and I looked down at the diamond on her finger. In two weeks that last name would change. I was ready for it. I didn’t like her being called Wynn. She was Blaire Finlay to me already.
“That’s us,” she said, smiling up at me before standing. She was barely showing now. How they expected to see more than an even bigger pea I wasn’t sure but she was promising me we could actually see the baby. It had arms and legs, as crazy as that sounded.
I didn’t let go of her hand as she led us back to the exam room. The nurse glanced back at me several times. She had better not be about to tell me I couldn’t go back there because I was going. It was time I saw my baby.
“In here,” the nurse said, stepping back and waving us into a room. “Go ahead and take everything off and put on the gown. Doctor Nelson will want to do a vaginal exam today too. But we’ll get to the ultrasound first.”
Blaire seemed to not think it was a big deal she was about to have to get naked. The nurse looked back at me. “Is this one okay to be back here?”
This one? What the hell did that mean?
Blaire grinned and looked back at me. “Yes, this one is the father.
The nurse straightened up and gave me a big relieved smile. “That’s wonderful. I hated the idea of someone as young as you doing this all alone.”
Blair blushed and went into a small room with a curtain in front of it. Once the nurse left I went over and stepped into what looked like a small dressing room.
“What did she mean by ‘this one’?” I asked.
Blaire bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes tightly. “Do I have to answer this?”
“Uh, yeah. Especially after that comment.” I was preparing myself not to like the answer.
“Woods drove me to my last appointment. They told him he could come back and I told them no he couldn’t, he was just a friend.”
I’d almost forgotten about that. I understood why she had gotten a ride from him. I hadn’t been here. But knowing some other man was here with her when she needed me was hard to swallow. I realized her face had gone pale and I bent down and kissed her lips. “It’s okay. I should’ve been here. I wasn’t.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
The door to the exam room opened back up and I stuck my head out of the dressing room.
The nurse was grinning at me and pulling in a machine with a little screen on it. “Is she about ready?” The amused smirk on the nurse’s face was funny.
“Just about,” I told her then looked back at Blaire who was bright red. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Get changed, sexy. I’ll go back out there.”
Blaire nodded and I stepped out from behind the curtain.
I walked over to the table and looked at the machine. “So this is how we see the baby?” I asked wondering how they did this exactly.
“Yep. Because Blaire’s on Medicaid we have to use this one. This is all Medicaid will cover. We have a newer 3D one that most mommas use and I wish Medicaid would cover it because you can see the baby so clearly. But it doesn’t.”
I paused and looked from the machine to the nurse. Blaire was on Medicaid? What the hell? I hadn’t even thought about the fact she needed insurance. I’d always had the best money could buy; it wasn’t something I thought about.
“I want the 3D machine. I’ll pay whatever it costs right now but I want the very best this office can supply.”
The nurse glanced from my earrings to t-shirt that had seen its better days. It was one my dad had given me after one of his tours about five years ago. I liked it because it fit tight and Blaire seemed to like tight shirts on me. “I… uh… I don’t think you understand exactly how much an ultrasound like that costs. While it is very sweet that you want to give that experience to Blaire it is very—”
“I can afford any procedure available. I told you I’d pay for it now. I want the best ultrasound for Blaire and my baby.”
The nurse started to open her mouth when Blaire walked out of the room wearing a thin cotton robe. “Please don’t argue with him. He’ll cause you problems if you do. Just get me the 3D ultrasound.”
The nurse shrugged, “Okay, if you’re sure, but he’ll need to prepay.”
I opened my wallet and handed her my American Express black card. Her eyes shot up and she nodded then hurried from the room.
“I should tell you now that I was perfectly okay with a regular ultrasound but that would be a lie. I’ve seen pictures of 3D ultrasounds in those parenting magazines and I really want one.”
Blaire was grinning like a kidwho was about to go to Disney World for the first time. Hell, to get her to smile like that I’d go buy the fucking 3D machine.
“My girl and my kid get the best. Always.”
The door opened back up and the nurse walked in staring at me now like she was trying to figure something out. She handed me my card. I took it and slipped it back in my wallet.
“Are you Dean Finlay’s son?” the woman finally asked.
“Yeah. Now let’s go see my baby,” I replied.
The woman nodded eagerly and turned to look at Blaire. “The 3D machine is in a special room. Are you comfortable walking through the hall in that?”
“Will someone see her?” I asked stepping in front of her because I sure as hell wasn’t comfortable with it.
The nurse opened a cabinet and pulled out a blanket. “Here wrap this around her.”
I wrapped her up in it until she was completely covered. Blaire was pressing her lips together trying not to laugh. I winked at her and pressed a kiss to her nose.
We walked down a long hallway where we passed two nurses another couple and Blaire’s doctor who asked why we were moving. The nurse quickly told him that I’d just paid for the 3D and the doctor look very pleased as he followed us into the room.
Blaire lay down on a table and they began prepping her as I sat patiently waiting. Once they had her stomach bare the nurse put some clear gel on her stomach then looked back at me. “Are you two wanting to know the sex of the baby?”
“Ask the momma,” I replied, annoyed that she’d asked me instead of Blaire.
“I’d like to know,” Blaire said, glancing back at me for reassurance.
“Me too,” I agreed.
Then the doctor began moving something over Blaire’s stomach and a small beating noise filled the air. It was faster than normal. “Is that my baby’s heartbeat?” I asked standing up because sitting was no longer possible. My heart was beating as fast as the one I heard on the screen.
“Yes it is,” the doctor replied. “And there… and there he is,” he said.
I stared at the screen as a small little life began to take shape.
“He?” Blaire asked.
“Yes, it’s most definitely a boy,” the doctor replied.
I reached out and grabbed Blaire’s hand, unable to take my eyes off the screen. That was our baby. I was gonna have a son. Fuck… I was also gonna cry.