Friends Are Foes 2By: Natalie Sade
I was facing 25 years, and I didn’t trust my lawyer to beat it, especially since the money had run out. My mother was on a payment plan to pay out what I owed as he continued to work the case. I just couldn’t take any more from her knowing she had my brothers to fend for, so I asked him to try to get a plea deal for me.
“I’m sorry I put your through this,” I said to my mother as she got ready to leave her weekly visit with me.
“Tika, I love you, stop apologizing. But I did want to tell you that Michael has contacted me more than once. He is very persistent. He wants your address. Can I give it to him?”
“For what?” I asked. My eyes automatically filled with tears.
“To write you. It might be good, for closure,” she said. I agreed that she could give him the address. It’s crazy I had so many friends when I was on top, but now they had all disappeared. When I was hosting parties, everyone wanted to hang around me. Now the only person, outside of my mother, that seemed to give a damn was the one I assaulted.
A week later I received a letter from Michael. He said he still loved me, that he was sorry, and that he forgave me. He also left his number for me to call him. It took me two days to muster up the courage to call him, but I finally did.
“I don’t know what to say,” were the first words I spoke to him.
“Tell me you forgive me.” He said.
“I can’t, I just feel like you played me. You knew we couldn’t do any of the things you promised me.” I said to him.
“What can’t we do?” he asked. I tried not to become upset. I knew I was wrong for attacking him, but was her really this naïve? I mean, he sounded sincere, so did he really think he could deliver everything he promised me?
“Get married,” I said finally answering his question. Well I guess we could do that, gay marriage is legal now.
“Yes we can. And I’m considered a male by law now, so that’s what will be on our license.”
“Have kids,” I said.
“Yes we can. Not the traditional way, but we can.” He told me.
“But it won’t be our baby.”
“Yes it will. You can get pregnant, Tika. I don’t need the baby to be my blood in order for me to consider it my child. Everything I promised you, everything we planned is more than possible. I love you and I’m sorry that I kept this from you. I never felt like this about nobody. I was scared to tell you, because I didn’t want to lose you.”
“I’m facing 25 years, Michael.” He was living in la-la land. I had to bring him back to reality.
“But you haven’t been sentenced yet.” He said.
“It’s too long.” I said. I wouldn’t dare ask him to wait.
“Says who? Even if you get 25, you won’t have to do the whole sentence. I can wait 5, 10, 15 years for my soulmate. Tika, you are my soulmate. I need you, baby.”
“I want to say yes, but truthfully I just don’t know. I guess I just need time.” I could have lied to him, strung him along, and made him do this time with me. But I knew firsthand that karma was a bitch. Plus, he was still optimist. He thought I would be out in no time, I knew that was false. Maybe once reality set in he would leave me.
“I put some money on your books. I’ll do that for you every month. I know you hate taking from your mom.”
“Will you write me back?”
“Yea, I was already going to. I just wanted to call first. I wanted to apologize to you. I should have controlled myself. I should have walked away.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said. I found it odd that he still loved me. He could have left me in here to rot, but he wanted to repair our relationship. Tears fell freely that night as I lay in my cell. I felt his love for me, in his letter and in his voice when I called.
I worked hard not to let the tears that threatened to fall gush down my face.
My lawyer had just presented me with a plea deal for 10 years if I plead guilty to both crimes. I signed the papers without even talking to my mother about it. So at this point the tears couldn’t save me. Therefore they were useless.
“With good behavior you’ll be out in five.” My lawyer had said to me. His track record hadn’t proven to me that his word was good. When we hired him he told me I may have to do a year, and then maybe have some probation.
“This over-zealous DA is trying to hang you out to dry.” He said slamming papers on the table. “She wants the LGBT vote in this upcoming election, so she is coming down hard on crimes like this.” He said. That conversation happened a month ago. Right after he told me that they were going for 25 years.
“I can wait 5, 10, 15 years for my soulmate. Tika, you are my soulmate. I need you, baby.” Michael had said to me the day before. I guess now we’d see how true that was.